Was It Something I Said?

A while back I had a reader reach out to me via e-mail. Kindness mixed with something more melancholy bled through the lines. Something in my writing connected with this person, and I was touched. Words and musings flew across the wire intermittently, as I answered questions and asked my own, enjoying the exchange of thoughts.

Then today, after a receiving a lovely description of clouds prancing across the sky accompanied by al fresco music, I read, “always, sincerely, the best toward you.”

My brow furrowed. What caused the jump from painting word pictures of pretty days to a one line have-a-nice-life email? I doubt I’ll ever know. The email has been deactivated. As I’ve said before, I’m new to this digital world. So is this common? Do humans masked by the veil of ones and zeros pop into peoples’ lives and then reenter the abyss with no explanation? If so, I don’t think I like it. No. I don’t like it at all.

It’s the human condition and the connections we make that fascinates me. Is the ability to sever them so easily—so callously—a good thing? I see how it could desensitize us to building friendships and relationships in much the same way watching an abundance of fictitious death and violence sometimes numbs us to real suffering.

Easy come, easy go?

33 thoughts on “Was It Something I Said?

  1. Severing connections has definitely made me more callous but, I would say that it’s in reverse. The more connections I break the harder it is for me to make new ones. When I finally do make them though I try not to break them. I don’t particularly like saying goodbye.

  2. It happens. The unfortunate reality is that the internet makes it easy to share behind the veil of anonymity, but it is also very real. Some people cannot maintain that connection because it can be deep and profound and they leave. It’s happened to me several times. Each one very difficult to bear.

  3. Sorry you got jilted. From what I know of you I can understand why you find such an abrupt ending unsettling. I also find it hard to believe that it had anything to do with you. ;)

  4. How odd. I can’t begin to guess why your friend disappeared, but I can promise you it had nothing to do with you. They just had to go. That much *is* the Internet, I guess.

  5. Any relationship that ends abruptly be it virtually or out in the physical world – is difficult to bare.

    It leaves you asking quite a number of questions. I agree with MrM. I simply try to be cautious with who I get close to because I am a very emotional person, possibly overly so, and I can get attached quite easily to people. It is one of the worst feelings to say goodbye and literally feel the separation and distance.

    I’m sorry about this experience you are going through, and it sucks that the person did not give any more explanation. I hope that they rethink things through and at least let you know what got into them.

    If not, I hope you continue to make new and lasting friendships.

  6. What if it was nothing at all that you said? What if it was not about you at all?

    Internet connections are like encounters with a seat mate on an airplane ride. While you may have much in common for that brief moment in time, the realities and demands of the rest of your life take precedence over any new “relationship.” And I find that word to not be fitting at all. There is no “relationship.” It’s an encounter, and it’s a very brief one. A stranger happening upon your blog, then emailing because something you wrote triggered a response, does not a relationship make.

    • I think you’re probably right, that it wasn’t about me. I tend to jump to the conclusion that I must have done something to trigger unexpected responses. In this case I was considering this person a friend and relating to him/her as such. And on an airplane ride one knows ahead of time the expectation of the encounter. And both bid a pleasant farewell at the end. I’m obviously still learning about the ebb and flow of digital encounters.

  7. Why do I feel like I know who this person is. Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced a similar situation. Talking to someone even via email can cause you to grow attached to someone even if it’s only a friendship one. Some people do just come and go.

  8. What I find strange about situations like the one you’ve described is how you feel an almost physical loss afterwards, even though you have never touched that person or smelled him/her or anything near that. I’m not so sure I like this new world either. I can’t seem to get enough of it though for some reason.

    Take care Noodle.


  9. I’m careful about who I connect with here….but I try not to just up and leave without some sort of explanation. I too, hide behind a veil, until I feel comfortable enough with someone to even go so far as to give them my real name; and that only in email. I’ve made some great friends here, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I love my blogging friends and I’m going to keep making careful connections.
    Sorry to hear that you got disconnected. I’m sure there’s a good reason.

  10. We women are curious creatures by nature. We always wonder what we did wrong when it comes to disconnect. Maybe it has nothing to do with what you did. Maybe they just couldn’t handle the closeness. The sharing of information. We do hide behind a veil here. We only let people see what we want them to see. Sometimes people just get too afraid of showing us who they really are……

  11. Damn, I thought about this a while ago. How strange it was to become friends with someone you’ve encountered over the internet and become accustomed to talking with them on a regular basis, and then realize that you look forward to their opinions almost every time. I’ve asked myself many occasions if it makes sense to miss someone you’ve never met.

    • I’ve asked myself this over and over in regards to Mr. Intrigue. In my head it doesn’t make sense at all. But as he pointed out when I mentioned it, we can’t discount today’s technology. We can see each other, talk, communicate all day long… literally the only element we’re waiting on is touch.

  12. I have made many friends (yes, just friends) through blogs. Some stay, some go. It’s like regular friendships, but the half life is much shorter. I have many blog friends who I’ve known for years and years now, and others who I knew only for a month or so and then fly fly away. It is what it is, and it’s not you.

  13. I’m not really sure what to say about this. What I am sure about is a certain noodler somehow finding her way to my blog when I was feeling my lowest. I would say that was friend material. While I can’t guarantee that I will always be on WordPress, I can guarantee that you will be able to find me elsewhere. I won’t just disappear on you. *hugs*

  14. The internet has given each and everyone of us a voice. It has given us an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. I don’t understand why anyone would go through all the trouble to talk to someone else if they didn’t want to have some sort of relationship/friendship with them. After all what is life without friends. Even if you don’t see them in person, its still a great feeling to be able to share the things you love with people you care about. Great post. I look forward to following you!

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