The Scream

The scream woke her. It was the kind of scream that makes the hair on the back of grown men’s necks stand on end, the kind that imparts true terror, the kind that—back in olden days—would have had pioneers grabbing their rifles and looking overhead for the dark, sleek shape of a panther.

She sat up in bed, white sheets clutched to her naked frame, sweat trickling down the curve of her spine. Her rapid pulse fluttered visibly at the base of her neck.  She looked around the empty, dark room as her breathing steadied and tried to remember what had frightened her so. Because the unnerving sound had been fueled by the air in her lungs.

The dream slowly came back, flitting in and out of the wisps of her consciousness.
She had been penning a confession. If she closed her eyes she could almost make
out the words:

Right now I feel very alone. I need holding. Pitiful isn’t it. I need someone to talk to. Someone who listens. I need to be kissed. Both gently and roughly. I need to be wanted. And not just sexually. I need to be wanted in a way that transcends all rationale. I need wanting in a way that no man can ever realistically maintain. Because even the most interesting, gleaming, sparkly thing becomes commonplace with day-to-day exposure.

Admitting her need to be wanted left her raw and exposed. That’s what had prompted the fear. But it was the realization that the need would never be met that rent the scream that sliced the air.

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear readers,
If you’ve noticed my lack of posting over the past few days, then I’m humbled. You see, I got intimidated. This is my hundredth post and as it is a significant milestone I wanted the words to be special… meaningful. And then I couldn’t decide what to write or how to write it. Finally I settled on this. The writing could be much better, but the story it tells comes from a very real place. Lastly, but certainly not least, I want to thank you all so much for reading, following, commenting, liking, emailing, etc. You’ve brought a balance to my life that was missing and I truly cherish the lovely souls I’m privileged to interact with here in this corner of the virtual world.
Much love,
Marian

68 thoughts on “The Scream

  1. I, for one, have thoroughly enjoyed you and your writing, so thank YOU for making me laugh, smile and think as you bare parts of yourself and your soul. ;-)

  2. Ah, Noodle, 100! That makes you officially official! Congrats!

    And to speak to your heroine’s nightmare, I’m pretty sure you must have been watching me sleep last night. Fuckin’ A. xx Hy

  3. Congrats, M. I think #100 is fantastic and the feelings you expressed to us readers are definitely mutual.

  4. Sweetheart that was beautiful. I can completely relate. The line, I need to be wanted in a way that transcends all rationale, hits me like no other. I feel this way every day. Words can’t even begin to describe how much I want that. I’m just moved to tears. Really.

  5. You know I am always a fan. Congratulations on your 100th post, here’s to many more amazing posts. Your note at the endof this is so moving, thanks for sharing your heart. Sending love and hugs. Love having you around here…keep writing!!!

  6. I did notice you weren’t here and I wondered about you. I always imagine it as a good thing – like you’re having some adventure. You returned with a heartfelt post and I appreciate you Miss Marion.

  7. Time flies by, and so does the wonderful memories but you sure capture some of them for us and bring us some of the soft moments of life. Your beautiful words and acts of admiration are well appreciated on this side of the world.

    Keep them bringing and I promise to keep you following :)
    Love n hugs
    M.

  8. CONGRATS TO YOU MARIAN…HERE’S TO THE 1000TH POST LOL!!!
    SPEAKING OF THE PIECE YOU WROTE…I HONESTLY FELT LIKE YOU WERE READING MY MIND..WE ALL WANT TO BE WANTED AND CHERISHED THAT WAY NOT JUST SEXUALLY LIKE YOU SAID ..I TRULY THANK YOU FOR YOUR WRITINGS….GOD BLESS YOU MARIAN…ALL THE BEST TO YOU!!!

  9. What a beautiful post. It goes to the core of how you feel, how I think most of us feel at some time; the need to feel wanted. Properly wanted.
    It also touches a nerve, in the same way the dentist probing your teeth might do if something is wrong. The bright white light of something wrong, yet discovered.
    I do hope you discover something of what you need to let you sleep better at night.
    Most of us bury these thoughts in the mundane world of day to day existence. Don’t let that need go, unless you find a good reason to.

    • Thank you Nick. To the core… yes. Amazing the thoughts that bubble to the surface at 3:00 am. And I’d rather live with the sting of the dentist probe than take the numbing Novocain of the mundane.
      xoxox

  10. Pingback: Putting a Bow on Things | Creative Noodling

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