I Think I Might Be Vanilla

I don’t take it in the ass.
I don’t want a threesome with a man and another woman.
I don’t want a threesome with a man and another man.
I don’t want to be tied up. Or tied down. (literally and figuratively)
I don’t want to stick a finger up your asshole. And again, leave mine alone.
I don’t want whips and chains.
I don’t want the bed covered in rose petals.
I don’t want to dress up in preppy schoolgirl or French maid outfits.
I don’t want double vaginal penetration.
I don’t have sex toys. (gasp! I know!)

This is not Green Eggs and Ham and I need no Sam I Am. If I don’t want to do something, it’s not because I still need convincing that it will “feel” good. It might! I just don’t want to find out. Does that make me vanilla? Probably. Am I all right with that? Definitely—because I know the reasons behind my “don’t wants”.

I don’t want DVP because I want to keep my channel as tight as a clenched fist. I don’t want whips, chains and costumes because I’m not into theatrics. When I’m with a man I want it to be all about him and all about me with no distractions and no props we could eventually come to depend on. I want his hands to be the cuffs on my wrists, his cock to be the whip that smacks my ass, his lips to be the petals that caress my skin.

I don’t want anal play because feel good or not, in my head that part of the body is for one thing and one thing only. And I would think about that. And that does not turn me on. I don’t have sex toys because right now I can orgasm like a champ with very little stimulation. Hell, I can come just by squeezing my legs together while thinking hot thoughts. So I don’t need them. Maybe I will someday… but not yet.

I don’t want another woman joining my lover and me because sharing him would stab my heart. I want to be the only one he wants, kisses, touches. And as far as another man joining in… I have thought about it. I’ve even gotten myself off while thinking about it. But once upon a time the man I was with stripped off my shirt to show my breasts to his very good friend. The friend met my eyes, saw the pain and graciously bowed out of the situation. Why was I hurt? Because, in my head, if he was willing to share me, he didn’t want me… enough.

So perhaps I’m vanilla, but I have my reasons. And I like my reasons. And after all… vanilla doesn’t have to be synonymous with plain.

60 thoughts on “I Think I Might Be Vanilla

  1. I hardly think not wanting those things make you vanilla. You know what you want and how you want it. If anything it makes you strong.

    Besides you don’t want to mess up the “clinched fist.” Mmmmmm….

    • I like vanilla. Vanilla ice cream. Vanilla icing. Sugar cookies (which really are just vanilla cookies)… so for me it’s a label I can embrace. And I do my kegels everyday. ; )

  2. No honey vanilla does not have to be synonymous with plain. There are plenty of good things to do, Just add a little whipped cream and caramel. There’s no need to involve the ass or other people. :-)

  3. Lovely post, hun. Lovely.

    P.S. Me too … “Hell, I can come just by squeezing my legs together while thinking hot thoughts.”

  4. Wow, this… is very compelling. And more than that, it clarifies my own thoughts in the opposite direction.

    I want the restraints because I am forced to feel his hands on me without mine distracting him from what he wants to do with me.

    I want to be fucked in the ass because I want him to see that even the embarrassing things, I will share with him, and furthermore, that I will care about him enough to take even humiliating steps to be as clean as possible for him.

    I don’t want to share his attention with anyone else, but if he sees fit to show me off to someone else, I’m strangely proud of him thinking highly enough of me to do the showing off.

    I want him to know that I trust him to step outside my comfort zone with him because I want to please him, and I know he wants to please me. That’s why I have a safe word and I know he’ll honor it. That he won’t hurt me when I show him my limits.

    But I love him enough to push my limits with him, to submit to his desires because he’s earned my submission and holds it in his heart as the biggest gift I could give him. I kneel at his feet not because he makes me, but because I’m free to do so.

    I’m not vanilla, and that doesn’t make me deviant. That makes me wholeheartedly belong to someone.

  5. I love vanilla. And you know what, some of us into BDSM, we forget that sex without kinks and fetishes is still freaking fantastic. Some people need to set down the whips and chains a little more, and get back to the basics! Great post!

  6. It’s very sexy and romantic to know what you want. “I want his hands to be the cuffs on my wrists, his cock to be the whip that smacks my ass…” So that is what you shall have, Marian.

  7. Neapolitan ice cream just wouldn’t be the same without vanilla and now I’ll think of you fondly every time I have some.

  8. All this time, I thought I was the weird one for not being into all this stuff.
    If you can rock someone’s world with the minimum, I think you got it made, girl. No need for fancy toys and tricks. hehe.

  9. I feel the same way about threesomes! I was thinking about that today (It’s funny how you seemed to read my mind on that), that I don’t share well with others and I don’t want to be shared. I think everyone else has said something to effect that it’s okay not to want (or need) those things and I echo that. If your sex life is banging, then do your thing. :D

  10. Me too!
    I don’t want a threesum again because I don’t like to share.
    Don’t even go near my ass..
    Props are nice, but not needed though proper partially undressed is welcome.
    I don’t have a use for toys.
    Guess I’m vanilla too

  11. Love TheDomNextDoor’s comment…. your post has been a thought floating around in my mind in some form. I think you hit a wonderful nerve. LSandM kind of stated the facts – sex is so great anyway – you know what I mean – but oh how sweet is the connotation of the DomND’s caramel aspect of sex – it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!

  12. Interesting. And often, I find it quite the case with people who “explored or experimented”. Each to their own and whatever floats your boat, as they say. On the other hand, definitions of “vanilla” vary widely. Neither D/s nor fetishes require whips and chains and anal sex. There’s a whole new label writhing across the lifestyle called Sensual Dominance which is hardly vanilla, but neither is it S&M. It’s all about the feelings and sensations. Your mileage of course may vary.

  13. Vanilla is absolutely delicious as you are! Knowing what you want is the most powerful thing of all. I like Hy’s comment about vanilla is the foundation and the rest is spice. Well put!

    Oh yeah lol btw I nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award. See you got me so distracted I almost forgot. http://morethanablonde.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/my-first-blog-award-sunshine-award/

    And it isn’t sharing if it’s just you and I right? ;)

  14. God damnit! that last part was heart breaking. You have such a way with words. Your poem was sexy, beautiful, and crushing at the same time. I loved it. Great work…again.

  15. I dont think, you have to think about this one. You are as candid as Vanilla as it could be. Love the emotions that generate the sensations till you rock the boat hard and heavy between the two bodies which leave you breathless.
    Smooth yet subtle you are on your own – A very own – Vanilla.

  16. Haha, I was with you on everything except the French Maid outfit… I even have dreams about dressing in those. Vanilla isn’t plain. It’s vanilla. It’s the best flavor and the most compatible flavor at once. And you want a little of it everywhere… just sayin.

  17. Are you vanilla? Hmmm let me imagine you as vanilla. Ice cream. Your smooth, white breast longing to be licked and sucked on a hot summer day, my tongue languishing all over the end of it and mouth surrounding so I have the total sensation. I’m there!. But can I just expand my vision a little …and imagine your blonde tresses and pale naked skin? Totally Vaniila to me. In my vision you would be the Goddess of Vanilla. Now I’m really there! I think that description suits the post perfectly, don’t you Goddess? But what if? You know what my favorite addition to vanilla is? Not chocolate, no not even creme de menthe (though I’m tempted, to match your eyes) … no it’s butterscotch. Just imagine how luscious the Goddess of Vanilla would be in butterscotch, twirled all around those lovely breasts, crisscrossing those tantalizing nipples, around the trunk, across the hidden valley … a shibari of butterscotch. Well, what I really mean is that the shibari looks like butterscotch twirled around and against your white flesh. You don’t like to be tied you say? Well what about my pleasure Goddess? I would love to see you tied. Struggling against the bonds, but then admiring their beauty, the intricacy of the knots, and once seeing my pleasure, deciding that maybe it wasn’t so bad. After all, giving me pleasure gives you pleasure.

    I’m all with you on that 3some shit. I agree … there should just be the 4 us … your body, most assuredly you mind, and my body and mind. 4 together … 4 as 1. Into 1. There is no higher plane.

    You don’t like anything anal I read. ” … in my head that part of the body is for one thing and one thing only …” you say. Yet I’ve never seen you claim that your mouth is only for eating and drinking, not to be used, too, as a pleasure vessel. Why the inconsistency? Now if you’re saying that treasured entrance is only for us when we are together, then I willingly acquiesce. Only our souls will pass into that tunnel of sublime pleasure.

    You claim possession of no toys ” … because right now I can orgasm like a champ with very little stimulation. Hell, I can come just by squeezing my legs together while thinking hot thoughts …”. Yes, you are a wonder, Goddess, I admit. But when you do your little trick, it’s really a one off. I want you to enjoy your special sensation so much more thoroughly and so much longer. When think of me, I need to know every part of you, your mind, your body, and your soul are on overdrive imagining us together, and with a certain vocality. One orgasm, 2, then a 3rd, maybe a 4th and 5th. And I would help verbally, maybe even visually over the lines. Squeezing your legs won’t do it Goddess.

    Yes, Goddess, perhaps you are Vanilla. But I see you in so many other variations … French Vanilla, Cherry Vanilla, Banana Vanilla you get the idea … you are as varied in your vanillaness as the Creator has given me imagination. Here’s to Vanilla then!.


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