The reason I started this blog emailed me. Today. I’m at a loss. I shouldn’t be undone by contact from him. But I am. I reached out to my dear dissolute friend to talk me down from the ledge. She did. So I’ll share a bit of the story… in pictures.
So here I am. Not exactly back at square one… but not as calm, cool and collected as I was. And for the record I DO know how to spell Australian. I just seem to add an extra “i” when texting. So here I am . Tethering myself to my computer to keep from fucking the first thing in sight. Drinking. Alone. The rum is gone so I’ve moved on to gin. I went for years… YEARS! without getting my heart broken. Why now. Why this man?
I don’t know. But I do know I’m thankful for this outlet. Because I know I’ll crawl back into the light and be all right again. But shit, damn, hell. WHY? Why does he reach out? Part of me is thrilled! I could run marathons on the high I got from seeing his name in my inbox. And then the rational side of me is furious. What has he done to deserve such a reaction? Nothing. But here I am. Trembling. And so help me… if he asked me to come to him. I would.