I have been unspeakably sad. And still am. The ache in my heart is a physical pain that manifests itself in the form of salty drops flowing down my cheeks. I’ve never understood self mutilation. The idea that the cutting or harming of one’s own flesh could ease the ache didn’t resonate. But that’s what I came close to doing in a metaphorical sense. I almost cut away this intimate part of me that is this blog. There was little rational thinking behind the thought.
I did not loose a child. I did not walk into that horrific scene as a first responder. I did not have to tell a mother that her arms will never again hold her baby.
Even now. All I can think is: Oh my God. Those sweet babies. Sweet precious babies. Precious innocents forever lost.
My soul is keening.