Storm’s a Comin’

I knew things had been trucking along too good to stay that way. So hang on folks, there’s a perfect storm a brewin’.

Nathan‘s been gone for two weeks and I just called him to say hi. He answers and talks for a few seconds in that I’m-tring-to-pay-attention-but-I’m-really-distracted voice. Then I hear the giggle of female voices in the background which claws at my heart like knives to a painted canvas. Immediately he tells me the groups plans for the evening—dinner, drinks, touring—all innocent enough. But I know what a female laugh like that means. I cut the conversation short and kept it cheerful, telling him to have a good time, etc. I hung up realizing I have no idea where things really stand between us.

Also, I’m rapidly approaching the one year anniversary of meeting Ian, the Australian. And the closer I get to that day, the more turmoiled I become.

I need holding. I need deep passionate kisses.

I was already toying with the idea of seeing Lover tonight, and perhaps I could have been stronger and resisted the temptation. But the giggles in the background pushed me over the edge. I’m going.

Marian out.

31 thoughts on “Storm’s a Comin’

  1. God…..How I hate that feeling! You try to put on a brave voice, as if there was ‘no’ knife ripping into you…. Damn! ‘Lover’ may help momentarily….. At least serve as a brief distraction.

  2. Mmm a perfect storm! – makes me think of that epic movie! hehe – hey I have given my little girl freedom to do the things teenagers want to do and which I did when I was her age! – doesn’t mean it doesn’t cut like a knife, but as long as she come home to Daddy at the end of the day, and I am the most important thing in the world to her I am happy and feel lucky! – don’t know if any of that helps you, but think about it little one – I’m sure you are the most important thing in the world to several men!! :) x

  3. And don’t think that a man can’t feel the anguish also… for the situation could be reversed just as easily. We all know how valuable the heart is as an organ, but it can also lead us to such pleasures and such pain. You have friends that can do more than just read, if you let them.

    • We can all feel anguish… it’s the proof that we feel deeply and I’m thankful for it. But at the same time I’m not going to sit around and just bleed out. Sometimes one chooses to take protective measures. And that’s what I did. I’m thankful for your friendship, Gray.

      • As I am thankful for yours my dear. I enjoy what you write, always better when your heart is singing though. I won’t be a bother, but you know where I am if you want to talk.

  4. Big big hugs.
    Sometimes, life sucks, life hurts.
    Sometimes we wonder why we bother.

    I am sad for you.
    I hope your love works out for you.

  5. I hate catching myself trying to be cool and ok with such things because there’s no official status and therefor I have no reason to be hurt, except that I am.

  6. I suffer from what I assume is jealousy and certainly self doubt for more often than I should have to it seems. But love can really make you crazy. Sometimes it’s a good crazy. And sometimes, well…

Talk to me. Please.

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