Catch Me if You Can

I’m going through another metamorphosis of sorts. Life is going so very fast. I’m trying to keep up. Fighting for some form of control. Yes. Control. That’s a common theme for me.

I chopped off five inches off my hair. It’s now about four inches past my shoulders rather than grazing my nipples. Oh… and platinum blonde rather than the darker honeyed blonde I had been for years and years. I feel like a walking exclamation point.

I have gone all OCD on what I eat. I can’t control the world that is spinning around me, but I do have jurisdiction over what I put in my body. And judging by the scale and the mirror, living on lean meat and veggies does a body good.

The insane headaches I was getting as I orgasmed seem to have abated. The first time I tried again, it was scary. As I got closer and closer to the brink I was terrified my head was going to feel like it had been split like a ripe melon. So I held back and had a small orgasm. And all was okay. I’ve been gradually building up to stronger and stronger ones and now finally feel cured.

Things with the Woodsman haven’t been without their bumps. The distance is painful… And for all our similarities, we are very different. There are times when we talk that I feel like we’ve just made one giant tangled circle that goes nowhere. Sometimes what begins as a simple and playful comment from me will morph into something so deep and confusing that I’m completely lost and can barely see where the starting point was. Our normal communication shifted last week, leaving me more confused. I didn’t know what was happening between us, if I had caused it, if I had missed something… but, as I told him, it felt like he was avoiding me. Not necessarily on purpose, but perhaps subconsciously. This firm foundation I have enjoyed since February didn’t feel so firm anymore. We’ve talked this out, and I feel better about where we are, but I’m having to make a conscious effort to not retreat into self-protection mode.

I’ve started writing the story about the Australian again. And yes, I’ll begin posting here soon. It’s just too magical to not post. And I don’t have time to shop it for a publishing agent right now. So you all get it instead.

Lastly, I’m starting a new project here on Creative Noodling that I’m super excited about. Anyone who has spent any time on here will notice that images often play a key roll in my creative writings. That’s not an accident. Before I ventured into my current profession, I was an artist. I suppose you could say that I still am… I mean, people don’t really stop being artists. What I’m trying to say is, I studied art, design, photography, art history, architecture, etc. And not to brag, but I have a good eye. Not just from my own perspective, but because it’s been trained.

So I have this idea… I want to start showcasing great photography done by bloggers that speaks to me. Informally I’ve already been doing some of this, but now I’m going to make it a real thing—a curation of beautiful images by talented photographers set to my prose. Something that, hopefully, you all will look forward to seeing on a regular basis. So be on the lookout for the first official installment of The Words and Pictures Project which will be premiering this week.

Cheers y’all. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, commenting and giving me a reason to keep staying sane enough to do this.

xoxo,
Marian

This is the icon for the upcoming new thing on Creative Noodling!

This is the icon for the upcoming new thing on Creative Noodling!

 

30 thoughts on “Catch Me if You Can

  1. Aside from the bumps in the road you mentioned, this is all exciting stuff and what sound like great creative outlets to feed your creativity, Marian! Looking forward to seeing what you come up with on all fronts ;)

  2. You sound happy and that is what matters. That will keep the posting fresh, continuing to lend excitement to both your readers and yourself. I look forward to the postings as I have missed you. Always a pleasure my dear. Platinum blonde, you’ll have to catch a photo of some part to give us a glimpse. As far as “just grazing the nipple”…. that is a whole new thought. :)

  3. What an exciting development. I’m looking forward to the next installment. Glad to hear your problem had abated too, you had us worried there. Take care Marian!

  4. I love that you’re always growing. Your writing idea sounds interesting and I wish I had photographs for you to write something with. I wish those headaches were gone already. It must be scary to go through that. Your self-protection comments are familiar. I have some armor back on and it’s a good thing. You have to get used to that vulnerability and only when it’s worthwhile. That’s my take anyway. It could be B.S. I know I am able to take it off…but only with good reason.
    Your description of “an exclamation point” is exactly what I imagine having that color to be like. I love the color but could not take the upkeep. I bet it looks stunning on you. xo, J

    • I can’t help but grow… it is my blessing and curse. But headaches are gone honey. Thank goodness! :) The armor comes and goes, huh. We live. We learn. We live again. Such is the cycle. On the hair. It’s loads of fun… but the upkeep is gonna be a pain. I was warned though… So no one to blame but myself when I get tired of it.

      • Yes – it’s a blessing. It’s a curse. I’m laughing to myself because everything just seems to be a constant waterfall. I’m happy as long as I get to drink the sweet water and be refreshed amidst the downpour.

  5. Marian, you definitely seem like you’re in flux, but I see a lot of good going on and I’m very excited about that. I’m sorry for the hardships, but they seem… short lived? I hope anyway. :]

    I’m highly anticipating this project of yours. I love the way you weave words with pictures and I can’t wait to see some community participation.

    lots of love.
    xoxo

    • Flux is a good term. Sometimes I feel like I’m balancing on a tetter-totter… not sure what’s on either side.

      I’m excited about the project too! There’s so much talent out there. I’m really hoping to get to showcase some amazing work. And of course the awesome inspiration is thrilling!

      Hugs and love to you darling!

  6. Yay for orgasms without explosive headaches!

    When I used to blog I used pictures a LOT, so I’m especially looking forward to your words and pictures project.

  7. I like the photography showcase idea!

    Hopefully things remain clear with your gent. I’m prone to retreating and throwing up barriers. Add any distance and I’m significantly worse. It’s a bad habit to break so I wish you well there.

  8. Women play with their hair when they are in flux, it is common. I have always wondered why this is. For years my hair was short and spikey, platinum blonde; this was when I was happy. Then I started to let it grow, started to experiment with color. Now, I am in the middle of a divorce, it is growing out, it is nearly my natural color. I am nearly back to happy again, just a different kind of happy.

    I love your idea of pictures and prose. Can’t wait!

  9. I don’t know why but I know my brain is good at convincing me any pause in communication or break from the routine means the end of the world is nigh. But only in romantic relationships. In friendships I ride the waves of closeness and distance without a second thought. Baggage, I guess.

    But I’m hopeful that the pattern is slowly breaking. I always feel silly once we reconnect and I no longer feel any sense of distance. I realize I imagined it and so thoroughly convinced myself it was reality.

    • It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels that way sometimes. This time there really were some things that needed to be worked out. But in other instances I have realized I just have a super active imagination. :)

  10. Kudos on the lifestyle changes, Marian. I’m ashamed to admit this, but my gut has swollen far too much of late and I need to do something about it – STAT!
    As for your romantic life, I’m sure you’ll do what’s best for you where the Woodsman is concerned. Take care of number one, baby – always.
    Lastly, good luck with the project. Keep those creative juices flowing – eternally.

    Oh, and before I forget, congratulations on the abatement of the mini-orgasm-induced-explosions! I knew your passion would win out in the end!

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