Trade Me In

Trade me in for the shiny new model. The one with that new car smell. Swap me for the better version. The one guaranteed to sell. Get the upgraded version to impress your friends. So they will know for sure you’ve “made it.”

That’s right. Trade me in. I’m just what you’re used to, what fills the space, what pays the bills.

So get what you want. I hope it satisfies because I don’t know what else I can do. No. I’m not perfect but I will keep trying because that is what you want me to do.

Oh this pain is too great. My fear is showing. Someone close the gate. I can’t go on… The unknown is too much. What you want is beyond my reach.

Or is it? Turn around and see me now. Is this what you’ve been missing?

31 thoughts on “Trade Me In

  1. Oh Marian, as many hugs as you need coming your way….
    ps.personally, I’m rather fond of a slightly worn in model, a few dings & dents of a life’s experience, than a shiny new one. :)

  2. On a writing level, I loved the last line but on a human line I really hope this does not describe your situation, because to live in thrall to another person is to waste your life. Yes, your are worth more than that, and yes, if he looked at you properly he would know it

    • Thank you Peter. As I explain in the post I wrote the following morning, this was expressions of past hurt that bubbled to the surface. Things I thought were in the past… but perhaps I still need to work through a bit.

  3. I am sorry I am behind in my reading, I wish I had read this earlier. Marian, you are precious and worth more than this pain. I so very much know how much some things hurt, yet know it does get better, promise you it does get better. Wish I could make it so.

  4. Drunk blogging in all it’s “glory.” You are an amazing woman, and hopefully, one day soon you’ll see it in those deep, dark recesses you keep sealed up. ((HUGS))

Talk to me. Please.

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