I’ve been in a bit of an emotional tailspin since my last post. I can’t lie. Reading the comments really left me heavyhearted. I began questioning if I should even attempt to get Nathan to add going down on me to our sexual mix. What if I tried and he refused? My optimism was dashed. I felt incredibly sad.
I also felt defensive. Not of my desire for his mouth on my pussy, but defensive of Nathan and of our relationship. Me not getting something I want doesn’t make him less of man. He’s still desirable to me. So what if he never does it, I thought. I still love him.
Yes, I would be missing out on something I love. But better to miss out on oral sex than a man I trust with my heart. Right?
So a little slower than I would have if I hadn’t read all the it-can’t-be-taught-he-will-only-do-it-out-of-duty feedback, I have finally began some baby steps in that direction anyway. There was some good advice that several of you gave, the resounding constant being: Make sure you are squeaky clean and smell good!
I gave that a lot of thought. Turns out, most of the times when Nathan and I have sex is shortly before I’m going to shower, not directly after. So, from a practical perspective, that was going to have to change. I also feel like I get cleaner and do a better job of shaving when I take a bath rather than a shower. So that is another change in my routine I added to the list. Finally, I realized I tend to get in hurry to have his cock inside me. It just feels so very good… but once we are coupled like that, we go until completion. I needed to slow things down a little—make more time for foreplay.
So, last week, after several nights of pre-sex bathing, I crawled into bed fresh and clean from yet another hot bath. As he had on the previous evenings, Nathan reached over and ran a warm hand up my thigh. He rolled on his side and kissed me softly on the mouth and then worked his way down my neck to my throat before latching onto a breast. Pulling a nipple between his teeth, he teased it with his tongue while I arched toward him.
A few minutes later he was on top of me, hands and mouth taking turns on my creamy, rose-tipped pillows. When I felt him lift his hips to enter me I gently placed my hands on his sides and softly nudged his body down. It was just a suggestion. A wordless hint. One designed to be easy to ignore if he chose.
But he didn’t. He lifted his head and looked at me with his twinkling blue eyes and smiled. And then I felt his kiss on my tummy. And another just below my naval. And another at the top of my mound. His tongue slid just between my shaved lips and teased my clit. I caught my breath. He dipped again, circling slowly. I moaned.
“You like that, do you?” he said.
“Very much,” I whispered.
And so he continued, gently licking my clit, as I reveled in the warm intimacy. I was far too tense to orgasm, and also scared to ask for more. But, in my mind, this was a huge first step. After just a few minutes I put my hands on his sides again, this time pulling him up my body.
“I need you in me,” I whispered as our mouths met and his cock pushed deep into my well.
And yes, I did need him in me. But even more than that, I need him.