Feeling Down About Going Down

I’ve been in a bit of an emotional tailspin since my last post. I can’t lie. Reading the comments really left me heavyhearted. I began questioning if I should even attempt to get Nathan to add going down on me to our sexual mix. What if I tried and he refused? My optimism was dashed. I felt incredibly sad.

I also felt defensive. Not of my desire for his mouth on my pussy, but defensive of Nathan and of our relationship. Me not getting something I want doesn’t make him less of man. He’s still desirable to me. So what if he never does it, I thought. I still love him.

Yes, I would be missing out on something I love. But better to miss out on oral sex than a man I trust with my heart. Right?

So a little slower than I would have if I hadn’t read all the it-can’t-be-taught-he-will-only-do-it-out-of-duty feedback, I have finally began some baby steps in that direction anyway. There was some good advice that several of you gave, the resounding constant being: Make sure you are squeaky clean and smell good!

I gave that a lot of thought. Turns out, most of the times when Nathan and I have sex is shortly before I’m going to shower, not directly after. So, from a practical perspective, that was going to have to change. I also feel like I get cleaner and do a better job of shaving when I take a bath rather than a shower. So that is another change in my routine I added to the list.  Finally, I realized I tend to get in hurry to have his cock inside me. It just feels so very good… but once we are coupled like that, we go until completion. I needed to slow things down a little—make more time for foreplay.

So, last week, after several nights of pre-sex bathing, I crawled into bed fresh and clean from yet another hot bath. As he had on the previous evenings, Nathan reached over and ran a warm hand up my thigh. He rolled on his side and kissed me softly on the mouth and then worked his way down my neck to my throat before latching onto a breast. Pulling a nipple between his teeth, he teased it with his tongue while I arched toward him.

A few minutes later he was on top of me, hands and mouth taking turns on my creamy, rose-tipped pillows. When I felt him lift his hips to enter me I gently placed my hands on his sides and softly nudged his body down. It was just a suggestion. A wordless hint. One designed to be easy to ignore if he chose.

But he didn’t. He lifted his head and looked at me with his twinkling blue eyes and smiled. And then I felt his kiss on my tummy. And another just below my naval. And another at the top of my mound. His tongue slid just between my shaved lips and teased my clit. I caught my breath. He dipped again, circling slowly. I moaned.

“You like that, do you?” he said.

“Very much,” I whispered.

And so he continued, gently licking my clit, as I reveled in the warm intimacy. I was far too tense to orgasm, and also scared to ask for more. But, in my mind, this was a huge first step. After just a few minutes I put my hands on his sides again, this time pulling him up my body.

“I need you in me,” I whispered as our mouths met and his cock pushed deep into my well.

And yes, I did need him in me. But even more than that, I need him.

12 thoughts on “Feeling Down About Going Down

  1. Doing a happy dance for you omgawwwddd yes!!!
    Congrats darling!! Xx

    Ps. Next step is to casually say something along the lines of “I cant stop thinking about how sexy it was to see your face in my pussy”.
    If I give a bj to a guy and he keeps mentioning how sexy it looked and how good it felt, then it makes me want to do it again ;)

  2. I think this was a great step! And the comment by ramblingg0at has a fantastic suggestion: give Nathan feedback on how sexy it was, how good his mouth felt. Thank him for going down on you. This kind of feedback is wonderful to men, since we can be puzzled as what to do to give pleasure to our ladies. I would hope you showing him enthusiasm gives him confidence that he was going down the right path. I also hope this continued feedback — coupled with you fresh from the bath — would inspire him to keep going back to doing what you say brings you pleasure. Speaking of feedback, give it to him while he’s going down on you, too. Tell him what feels good. Tell him you think it’s very sexy. Moan loudly. Those are the kind of things that turn a guy on. At least they do for me. For me, a woman moaning loudly, with her face all twisted up in orgasm, is immensely sexy. That might be for Nathan, too.

  3. YAYYY!! So happy for you!
    Happy also because he didn’t stop too soon, you pulled him up. He went with your pace, knowing you enjoyed his tongue on your clit. That must have felt so good for you on so many levels! And who says you have to orgasm from that particular action? I’m sure you had your fill later on :-)
    You never HAVE TO orgasm. You only have to enjoy yourself.
    Oohh, I’m so happy for you! :-D

  4. Yay you! Been thinking about you all week and hoped that all was well. Your very last sentence put a huge smile on my face.
    The hubs would kill me if he knew what I was getting ready to share, but it’s relevant.
    First of all, he’s my only and everything I’ve learned, I’ve learned from him. I didn’t really know that oral sex existed until after I was married.
    He was never interested in going down until much later in our marriage and he shared that it was from (unpleasant) experiences he’d had with other girls more so than any aversion to me. We approached it much like you just described with Nathan and he now knows that a pre-sex bath is my sign for “in da mood!”
    Best wishes, love, the journey is almost as much fun as the destination. xo

  5. “I was far too tense to orgasm, and also scared to ask for more.”
    This isn’t the Marian we’ve grown to know and love, my friend. I think you’ve let the situation get out of hand; time to pull back and relax. Let Nathan take point. See if he truly understands your needs and red-hot desires.

    But next time he goes South?
    For Pete’s sake, leave him there until you explode like a nuclear bomb of sexual energy!

  6. Very cool! Delighted you have let him feel as if he has opened a new door – keep it partially open, and hopefully he continues to experiment … you deserve an orgasm before he enters you. It might happen.

  7. Yay for the first taste!

    Why is it so hard for strong, sexy, confident, articulate women to ask for what we want?? I put an absurd amount of brain power and anxiety into the whole butt plug thing with Sal. Gahhhhh.

    (Reading on…)

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