I Feel Like Posting Selfies. The kind I wouldn’t dare share in the “real” world. 

Share my story the prompt says. Well. Today I’ve been run through the proverbial ringer and I came straight home, stripped off all my clothes and jewelry, poured a cold glass of white wine and ran a luke warm bath. I spent the next hour soaking and sipping. Letting the water do its magic. So why do I want to do something risky like include the photos I just snapped? Validation? Attention? Two likely causes. I’m open to your conclusions. 

And big hugs to all of you who still come by and read even though I’m so irregular. Thank you. From my heart. 

Enjoy the pictures after the jump. 

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Nobody Lies About Being Lonely

“Nobody ever lies about being lonely.”

The words leapt off the screen at me as I watched From Here to Eternity for the first time last night. Beyond the cinematic beauty of Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr making sand- and sea-filled love on the beach, this rather quiet look at complicated people triggered a sweet concoction of sadness, nostalgia, longing, and reflection inside me.

But that’s what good stories do. They connect.

In each of the characters I saw reflections of my own personality and past. The determination to stick to a preconceived plan, no matter how shallow, simply because it was the original plan. The fleeting magic of lust crashing into love with few words needed to express the deepest, most turbulent of emotions. The pain of separation and longing for something one knows deep down truly can not be. The commitment to one’s own definition of “right” whether it lines up with others’ ideals or not. The comfort found in conformity. Continue reading

Why Being a Top Sex Blogger Is Better Than Peanut Butter on Pancakes

So there I was. At lunch. Scrolling through my phone for the brief 15 minutes I was allowing myself to inhale a deli sandwich. And I see the notification that the fabulous Rory at Between My Sheets has posted her annual Top Sex Bloggers List.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you don’t really want to admit to yourself that you want something? Like… No, I don’t really want that fancy car. The maintenance just isn’t worth it. Or, no, I don’t want to be invited to that party. Finding something to wear will just be too much work. Or, no, I don’t want to slather some peanut butter on my pancakes. That might make them too rich to eat. This was one of those times. I really wanted to be on the list, I just tried not to admit it. And, as I reminded myself while the page loaded, I don’t write nearly as much about sex as I used to. I’m not even sure I am a Sex Blogger. Sexy Blogger? With a heavy emphasis on the Y? Ok… I’ll take that one. But this is the SEX Blogger List.

I dabbed the low fat mayo off the corner of my mouth with a too-thin napkin. Ahhh… there is was. The List. Her top ten is spot on. I read eight of them regularly and now will add the missing two to my reading docket. You can’t fault Rory’s taste.

Then I got down to the rest-in-alphabetical-not-numerical order part. My eyes dart to the Cs. Sigh. Nope. Creative Noodling isn’t on there. My bottom lip poked out a little. Oh well. Maybe I’m not posting enough, I thought. Maybe I’m not relevant. Maybe I don’t have enough drama going on in my life for people to stay interested…

Then I saw it. Marian Green of Creative Noodling. I was in the M section!!! I smiled down at my phone, a little embarrassed about how pleased this had made me. Ok. More than pleased. Downright thrilled. So thank you so much to those of you who nominated me. It is validation that just maybe I’m doing a little bit of good here. So I’ll keep on going. And I can say without any doubt that being voted a Top Sex Blogger of 2014 is WAY better that peanut butter on pancakes. It really does make them too rich for my taste.

How to Survive When Crazies Takeover (Hint: Don’t Be the Black Guy in Season One)

I feel as if I’ve been fighting a Crazipocalypse for the past couple of weeks. Something is in the air. People who I believe would normally behave in reasonable manner have been behaving off-kilter. It’s like I’m in an on-going episode of Candid Camera but no one ever points to the bushes and says, “Look! We’ve been filming you this whole time! It’s all a prank!”
The Crazies!!!! They are coming for me!!!!!

The Crazies!!!! They are coming for me!!!!!

Thankfully I have good, humorous friends who help me realize that the pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel isn’t actually a train. Before the Crazipocalype peaked I was describing the impending sense of doom I had weighing on me to one such friend. He’s got much more experience in this area and offered some sound advice I’m going to pass on to the rest of you in case I’m not the only one in a battle against the Crazies. (And, judging by some of y’all’s blog posts, I’m not.)

 Rory:  How are you today?
 me:  I’m a little frazzled. But hanging in there
 Rory:  Frazzled?
 me:  are you not familiar with the word?
 Rory:  I am. More inquiring why
 me:  lots of irons in the fire. a girl abandoned her job. and it’s just a nutty feeling in the air.
 Rory:  Oh dear
 me:  like all the crazies are gonna come out. think zombie takeover. But instead of zombies… the crazies.
 Rory:  Get home, and lock the doors! Invest heavily in canned foods and shotguns
 me:  yes sir
 Rory:  I’m on season 4 of walking dead. I’m full of useful tips for just such occasions
1. Making friends with a redneck who can operate a crossbow is a good idea
 me:  What else?? I need to know these things!!!!
 Rory:  2. Don’t be the black guy in season one. It doesn’t work out for you.
The black guy in Season 1.

The black guy in Season 1.

 me:  Ok… Noted. I can do that. next?
 Rory:  3. Never, EVER, split up! Scooby and the gang do this all the time, but that is a silly silly cartoon. You will probably get eaten
 me:  And what if I’m alone already? Does that mean I should just throw in the towel?
 Rory:  Nope. Keep running. Never give up babe. Your pretty and likable, so you’ll probably be around until season 6 at least. Hell, you may get your own spin-off if you play your cards right
 me:  You know I’m gonna work up a humor post from this chat, right?
 Rory:  Please do 
 me:  What do you want your name to be?
 Rory:  Hmmm… I’m feeling on the spot… Rory. Can I be Rory?
 me:  Mmmm. I like it.
 Rory:  Oh, another point. Don’t get pregnant. Yes, we want to repopulate the species after the zombie apocalypse, but you’ll die in child birth, probably during sweeps week.

So there you have it my friends. With Rory’s sound advice we can all hope to live through the Crazipocalype and perhaps even have a spin-off all our own.
:)

A New Blog That I’m Loving

I’ve just spent an hour I didn’t have reading the entirety of a new blog I just found. This woman, Lily, is pouring out her heart in beautifully crafted pieces that, once you start reading, I bet you’ll be like me and have to read the whole thing.

The blog, Recovering Woman Caught in Adultery, weaves a tale of forbidden passion and desire. Let me know if you love her as much as I do already.

Cheers!
Marian

I’ve Been a Bad Girl (plus an update on the high school crush)

My outward image is that of a “good girl”… or perhaps “good woman” now that I’m in my early 30s. A well-behaved Southern one at that. I stand up straight. I don’t swear around most people. I write thank you notes. I don’t wear sandals without a pedicure. I’m polite to a fault. I wouldn’t dream of openly discussing my inner turmoils, my deepest fears, my darkest desires or my struggles with fidelity. But around here, behind the thin veil I dance behind, I do exactly that.

And in this amazing land of openness and sex-positive spirit, that has garnered me an award from the sexy quill master H.H. of My Sex Life With Lola. The Bad Girl Bloggers Award no less! I met H.H. and Lo a couple of years ago when I first began pouring my heart out on this blog. Their crazy adventures helped me feel a little less self-conscious about my own actions. And were super hot to read to boot! They’ve awarded several others along with me and I really recommend popping by and getting to know the other ladies. Several of us have been for a while but you might discover someone new which is always fun.

In keeping with the idea of introducing people to new bloggers I am going to nominate some new-to-me ladies (yes. you can be a bad girl and a lady too) whose blogs I’m throughly enjoying discovering.

Dawn D of Dawn’s Nights
She’s not only candid in her blogging, but one of the most thoughtful commenters I’ve encountered. Her journey full of ups and downs. Something I believe all of us can understand. But how she writes about it… well… just take a look. You’ll see.

Savannah Carrier of Warm Creme
Savannah is the sexy wifey half of a husband and wife blog that will blow you away. They are chronicling their journey to explore new sexual heights together and at the same time strengthen their marriage. It’s the stuff romantic porn is made of. I’m in love with them both!

Sharn of Spankalicious
If her amazing smile in her avatar doesn’t win you over immediately then her writing will for sure. While sex is part of what she touches on, there’s also so lots of thought provoking self discovery. She gets me thinking with every post.

Now, I’m going to stop at three because I believe that’s plenty to get to know in one post. However, I reserve the right to whip the award out again at any time and pass it on to the another set of sexy bad girl lady bloggers at a later date.

So what are the rules for the award? I don’t do rules very well. Especially not here. So Dawn, Savannah and Sharn… it’s yours to enjoy. The badge is below so if you choose to pass this on, please include it with the post. And above all else, revel in being just a little bit (or a lot) bad. : )

Bad-Girls-Button-2

And now for the update on the high school crush who friended me on Facebook. We keep messaging. A lot. And keep dancing around talk of “what ifs.” What I really want is to hear his voice… to see if it’s still the same as I remember, to dance a little closer to the danger line. One of his messages said, “I don’t ever want to lose you again.”

And the scary thing is, I don’t want him to.

 

Describe Your Perfect Day

“Describe your perfect day,” he wrote.

“It would start in a luxury hotel in Europe,” I typed back, “Perhaps one overlooking a Mediterranean shore.”

perfect day 2

I closed my eyes and let the vision come into focus.

perfect day 2 1

“It is spring. Birds are my alarm clock. Breakfast is room service. Hot. Delicious. In bed. The coffee is perfect. So is the love making. And then, with two appetites satisfied, we are off to explore something old and historical. New people are met and visited with. Lunch is leisurely, in a quaint café with bread that was baked that morning. It has a perfect crust.”

I could almost smell the rich flavors as I imagined the scene. More began to unfold.

perfect day 3

“We walk everywhere,” I continued, “And discover something. I don’t know what… cave paintings, dead sea scrolls… something. But we don’t tell anyone. We keep it just for us. At least that day. In the evening we stroll under twinkle lights and get caught up in a wedding party that involves the whole village. There is wine. Dancing. Flirting with the natives. And then, the comfort of landing back in the arms of one I love. As the clock strikes midnight, while feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world, we stroll back to the room arm in arm. And make noisy, passionate love until dawn. That is my perfect day.”

perfect day 4

 

I had not thought about my perfect day until he asked the question. So let me pose the same one to you: What is your perfect day? Let me know in the comments or, if you are so inspired, post about it and then add the link in a comment so I can read about it.

Love and hugs,
Marian

 

I Need an Escape

I know I’m not the first person to want to flee from reality for a while. It’s a feeling I would assume everyone has experienced. There is a lot in my life coming to head at the moment. Work stress and the added pressure from my upcoming decision on what to do with Jack has made my chest feel tight and tiny furrows to appear between my brows.

So I’m running away for the weekend. Where, you ask? To the haven and welcoming arms of dear sweet Hy. Everything seems better in her rose-tinted world. I’m so thankful she has invited me down. I have a huge bottle of white wine chilling in my fridge to bring. And will raid my liqueur cabinet for some other goodies to take as well.

See you soon my sweet friend. It’s been far too long.

Creative Noodling the World!

I took a look at my all-time stats today for about the first time in forever and was excited with what I found. Except for a swath across north/central Africa and countries that aren’t on speaking terms with mine, most of the WordPress world map has some color on it. And that makes me smile. At least one person in 190 countries has landed in my little nook of the internet. I don’t know what brought them here, how they found their way, but for what began as a place to simply begin to process how and why my heart was broken, to have coverage almost the world over is more than a little thrilling. But it’s humbling too. What I have here… it’s just words. But they are my words. And for so many to actually read them brings me such joy. I wonder if there is a man in the mountains of Austria who let my steamy thoughts warm him on a cold night. Or could there be a woman on the shores of Peru finding comfort in my melancholy musings. I’ll never know. But I do know those of you who comment and encourage keep me going way more than you can ever realize. Thank you. Now if I can just get WordPress to do the map in shades of green…

Creative Noodling Worpress Map

Countries that haven’t yet had people stumble my way: The Western Sahara, Mauritania, Mali, Cote d’Ivoire, Guinea, Niger, Chad, Central African Republic, South Sudan, Gabon, Iran, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Somalia, North Korea, Cuba and Svalbard.

Exposing Myself for the Sake of Community

I went back and forth for days on whether or not I was going to participate in Hy’s Boobday. Obviously the side that wanted to won. One of the things I love about how she does it is that anyone can participate as long as they follow her guidelines. It’s inclusive. And there is something truly beautiful about that. And that was the deciding factor. I want to support an inclusive community. And if I can do that by taking and sharing a photo that I feel celebrates the figure I was given, then I’m good with that.

Not only did it take me a while to decide if I was going to join in, it was also a thirty minute process of trying to capture the feeling I wanted in the photo. I’m exposing myself. And I wanted the vulnerability that comes with that to be felt in the image. Yes. There were some I culled that had me “presenting” myself… back arched, breasts forward. And they were damn sexy. But right now, that’s not how I feel. So I shared this. This simple photo of me in a threadbare v-neck tee left behind by an old lover many years ago.

My fist submission to Boobday.

My fist submission to Boobday.

Happy Boobday, y’all.

My First TMI Tuesday Post

So I ran across this meme on sweet Fatal’s blog, You Linger Like a Haunting Refrain, and I thought… A meme!!! Fun!!! We’ve been talking about getting more involved and solidifying our community lately… so why not? If you want to play along feel free to link to your post in the comments. The official instructions are at the bottom. And check out Fatal’s answers too!

Without further ado, my first TMI Tuesday:

1. Do you give pet names to anything? (e.g. Significant other. Car. Breasts. Penis. Vagina.)

puppyYes. I give pet names to anything that will be still long enough for me to name it. It’s a problem. But they are all very common ones. Nothing too outlandish. Or punny. I’d love to nickname a guy’s penis Stanley though. You know… like a Stanley Power Drill. Badda bing, badda boom. I’m here all night, folks.Stanley-FatMax-20V-Hammer-Drill

2. Is there a pet name that you can’t stand being called?

I’m sure if someone tried hard enough there would be one that might get on my nerves. But as long as the tone of voice is endearing, I’m pretty easy going about the name.

3. Has your body ever done something that you didn’t understand? Even if it was a ‘first time’ something happened?

Oh yes. Several times. There’ve been mundane things like the odd leg cramp or my hair getting curlier for no apparent reason. But other times it’s been more serious. And on two of those occasions I’ve ended up in the hospital. Way to go body!

4. Which body part do you spend the most time on? (grooming, applying, etc.)

Well, because I’ve been spending so much time working on my figure with running and biking, the actual time spent grooming and applying makeup is WAY down. Like by 75 percent. But even within that greatly reduced timeframe I’d have to say my eyes. I do love my mascara and will apply at least five thin coats to get that feathery fringed look.

perfect eyelashes

5. The name of the best lover you’ve ever had.

On the blog he’s been mentioned only as The Connoisseur.

6. Have you ever taken an ex back?

No.

Bonus: What’s your biggest concern in the world today?

A lack of kindness and compassion.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

P.S. When I first started blogging two and a half years ago I didn’t even know what a meme was. I had to google it. Turns out it’s a fancy internet term for a game or group of questions passed around on the… wait for it… internet.